that shiny little ring

“She smiled and said with an ecstatic air: "It shines like a little diamond",

"What does?"

"This moment. It is round, it hangs in empty space like a little diamond....” 

Almost seven years ago, this one man sat across his cousin to choose that stone, still in its raw form to decide how to design the diamond that he would set in a white gold band to place on the finger of the girl he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. Almost seven years ago, he carried the box a million miles away to step under a mango tree and get down on one knee on New Years Eve to ask her to marry him.

That stone. That diamond.

When I would look at it, I would go back in time and remember how body escaped in happy sobs, how the tears ran down my face when I realised what was happening in that one moment under the mango tree. The sparkle in the stone would bring back the sparkle in our eyes when I said yes. The shine would bring back our auras on those special days during our engagement, when we sat preparing for the day that would bind our lives together. I always looked at it. Even after seven years. I thought I'd be looking at it forever.

But it wasn't just a stone. Nor was it just a diamond.

It meant that he picked me to be the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. It meant that he chose me. And it held our stories in its little kaleidoscope. So please excuse me for being materialistic as I grieve the loss of my stone as in this one instance, this particular material possession meant the world to me. As much as I know there are thousands of diamonds out there, I know that there was only one that was mine, the only one that he chose to put on my finger that one surreal evening. As much as a stone is replaceable, this one isn't and neither are the stories that were engraved into it.

The empty setting on my engagement ring doesn't look right. The hollow spot where that stone sat stares back at me. The metal looks lacklustre without its shine. It looks incomplete. My finger feels incomplete.

And I'm absolutely gutted.

who ever thought?

the boys that complete my life.

always.

the boys that make my whole being laugh.

constantly.

the boys that make my head spin in circles.

sometimes.

the boys that make my heart smile.

forever.

my boys.

who ever thought i'd be this lucky?

ordinary days. extraordinary moments.

The three of us.
Dinosaur rides. Pirate ships. Log rides. A walk through an vintage, make-believe Brooklyn town.
His happiness was contagious and he skipped his way through this little amusement park that seemed bigger than the universe to him.

A place of my past where weekends were spent when I was a teenager. My son's new obsession. My husbands new discovery. Full circle that's come straight back to me.

a night with my chef

 

One Friday night.
16 people, an extremely hot kitchen.
A whole lot of food and a extreme amount of respect for what my husband does.

Passion is surely what you need to choose this career.

for my husband

                                                                                           above photos by aizacruzwing
happy father's day to the most wonderful daddy to our son.

I wouldn't be half the mother that I am without you by my side.

the one that i love

i fall in love with this man more and more everyday.

...... and i love him in his chef whites; it was what he was wearing the day i first met him.

see the way he thinks at food the way i see it.

if i had known

If I had known....

If I had known one day we would meet...

I would have counted the raindrops to mark the days

I would have danced beneath every full moon

If had known one day we would kiss

I would have sprinkled my hair with golden stars

and bathed my feet in the milky way

If I had known one day we would touch

I would have clothed myself in the wind

and caressed my skin with the morning dew

If I had known one day we would embrace...

I would have made a bed of moss

and covered it with wild flowers....

If I had known one day I would be your bride...

I would have bathed myself in the sun

and veiled my face with clouds

If I had known one day I would speak your name...

I would have had the nightingale teach me his song

and fairies teach me to fly

If I had known one day you would seek me out....

I would have the fireflies light your path

and sent angels to guide you

If I had known you would one day love me....

I would have gifted you the rainbow

    Kyssus 2004

 Because it's been four wonderful years. 

 

..... and because there are many more years ahead of us.

 

December 27, 2006

Photos by Dino Lara

sleigh bells ring, are you listening?

*sigh*

okay, who was I kidding?

I jumped on the #reverb10 boat knowing that December is ALWAYS crazy for me. Between Christmas, my birthday, my anniversary, friends visits, in-laws visits, December has come by as if it was a huge gust of wind that shook me off my feet. And now it's almost over.

I could have spent every day of December reflecting and manifesting, perhaps silently I was as the prompts came through my emails daily. Perhaps as I read them, I knew the answer immediately, or perhaps I had to think about the questions in depth before answering them.

All I know is that as I had time to think about my past year, whether I shared it on here or kept it private, I couldn't have asked for anything more as this year reaches its end. 
Very grateful and extremely blessed.
 ❤

.because I'm a mama.

As a mother, I always like to read other mother's stories, how they raise their children, about their special moments, and even about our similarities in motherhood. It helps me know and realise that I am not alone and that in another part of this world,  someone else has gone through an exact same situation or emotion.  So then an offer came to participate in a parenting interview by Dorothy from Feet on the Ground .  As I slowly answered each question, deep down I sat there wondering if other mothers would relate to me, would share my experiences, or would feel my emotions.

And now it's up on Dorothy's wonderful site and as I read it over again, I know in my heart that there are mothers out there who feel the same way as I do.

A mother's experiences are wonderful to share. We all share this language, this understanding, the exhaustion, and the overwhelming love we have for our children.

Check it out here!

Photos by Aiza Cruz-Wing Photography