I'll wait on your doorstep till you let me come in

A bit of Erykah, vintage cigar labels, a mason jar and a whole load of sunshine.

I kinda like it all.

                                         Erykah Badu - Turn Me Away (Get Munny)

is it over yet?

Only ten days in the month and it's been one of those weeks already.

Even  worse, it's been one of those days.
 .. and as much as I hate wishing time away, I can't wait till it ends.

The sun has been shining, however, and has been bringing sunspots into my days again.
They always make my day.

8 am heat

Summer is definitely here. 

It's humid.

It's scorching at 8am.

You need three showers a day + a swim to cool off.

 in fact, you sweat right after each shower.

AND it's May already. Where has the year gone and why is it all moving so fast?  I haven't even done half the things I'd imagine I was doing at the almost-half-years mark.
I should have believed my folks when they always warned about wishing time away. Little did I know that you will wish for that time back.

dear blog

I am sorry that I have been neglecting your space.

I am sorry because life has been speeding past me and i have not been able to document it.

I am sorry because my computer fried and I have lost some important files and have not had my digital world at hand.

I really am sorry but please know that I am not gone for good and that you have not just been there for momentary online therapy.

I am sorry but my reality has really needed a little bit of attention.

But my reality is almost set up and somehow within all the running around I have managed to catch my breath this morning and enjoy my new space, my new sun spots, my new home.....

 

Oh my, I think reality is also telling me that I am in dire need of a pedicure.

.sucker for sun spots and sun flares.

 

sunshine beats through glass panes.

red flares dance through the heavy air.

bursts of light explode while shadows dance around.

 eyes close.

traces of light; white circles, dotting the blackness behind my lids .

                                                             the silence, it echoes.

                                          in my mind, in my head.

                                                              

    the light.  it glares.

the heat. it blazes.

a suntrap in my space. 

rlr.'10

           

.a letter to my son.

Day eleven, twelve and thirteen
the August Break.

To my dearest Cameron,

When did this happen? When did you become a little boy?

When did you grow up from the little baby that used to lay in my arms so still and dependent? When did you grow out of your little rompers and cute onesies? When did you lose your chubby little cheeks and when did you lose the folds on your tiny legs? When did your gummy smile become one with a full set of white teeth? When did you become so big that I can't carry you for too long anymore? And when did you not want to be carried anymore? When did you learn how to be so independent at only 22 months old? Your cleverness amazes me and your curiosity overcomes me with pride. Do you see me stare at you, as if to grasp onto time hoping that it would stand still for just one moment? Do you notice how I hug you tightly each night as I put you to bed knowing that the next day you will show me something new that you have learned? I watch you as you continue to learn, continue to grow and wonder when it happened. 

Was it when I blinked my eyes? Or perhaps it happened when I went out for my afternoon meeting? Or maybe it happened when you closed your eyes at the end of your long day and journeyed through your wonderful dreamland?

Oh, my little one. How I wish time would slow down.

14 weeks

5 months

22 months

22 months

May God bless and keep you always
May your wishes all come true
May you always do for others
And let others do for you
May you build a ladder to the stars
And climb on every rung
May you stay forever young
Forever young, forever young
May you stay forever young

                                              

                                              May you grow up to be righteous
                                   May you grow up to be true
                                   May you always know the truth
                                   And see the lights surrounding you
                                   May you always be courageous
                                   Stand upright and be strong
                                    May you stay forever young
                                    Forever young, forever young
                                    May you stay forever young

                                                                                         

                                                                                          May your hands always be busy
                                                                       May your feet always be swift
                                                                       May you have a strong foundation
                                                                       When the winds of changes shift
                                                                       May your heart always be joyful
                                                                       May your song always be sung
                                                                       May you stay forever young
                                                                       Forever young, forever young
                                                                       May you stay forever young

                                                                            

                                                                                                          Bob Dylan.

. come away with me.

today i wish i could have sand in between my toes.

i wish to feel the sunshine basking on my skin and to feel the sea breeze grazing my skin.
today i would love to smell the salt in the air and to close my eyes and hear the waves echo.

in this moment,  i  just wish to be away from reality.