a dab of colour, a stroke of a brush

I forget how good it feels to hold that brush. 

Even if its spent painting animals with poster paints and decorating parrots with sequins and feathers on my dining table with my four year old.

the magical inner light of the owl

The Native American tribes believed the owl to that of a protector against harm using their feathers to ward of the evil spirits. 

The ancient Athenians 'made the owl an emblem of wisdom' and is a symbol of Athene, the goddess of foresight and knowledge.

A nocturnal bird, a creature of the night, one that symbolises inner-knowing, intuition, and mystery.

Babygirl will have something watching over her in her little nursery when mummy and daddy aren't around, keeping her protected in its mystery, keeping her safe when she's in her little space.

Can't wait to do her nursery up. 

i'm ready.

1. I'm ready to play football again. I'm ready for an 8k run.

2. I'm ready for a spicy tuna salad, medium rare steak, peanut butter sandwiches, eggs benedict, foie gras and vodka tonics.

3. I'm ready to go out dancing with my friends in high heels and skinny jeans.

4. I'm ready for long evenings of good food, bottles of red wine, conversations and friends without feeling the need to fall asleep at the stroke of 10 pm. 

5. I'm ready for round two of nappies and breastmilk. 

6. I'm ready for those long nights. 

7. I'm ready to walk and not waddle.

8. I'm ready to wear my wedding ring again.

9. I'm ready to get pampered with a full body deep tissue massage, dye my hair and get highlights.

10. I'm ready to be me again. 

11. But most of all, I'm ready to meet my little girl. Ready to be a mother of two. Ready to become a   family of four.

 I'm so ready. 

the waiting game

pretty little one, mama is waiting. 

we all are. 

the august that was

...through instagram eyes.

it was memorable. let's just say that. bad and good. ups and downs. 

my least successful august break.

my bittersweet august of two thousand and twelve.

little girls and all things nice

pretty little dresses.

pink.

pigtails.

ballet {or not}.

I'm kinda excited.

for the august break. 

something she needs

 Because once in a while it feels nice to be dolled up.

Because once in a while you're allowed to feel amazing especially when that 17 week bump makes you feel like a whale.

And because once in a while a girl just needs it, even just for that little moment.

Little stolen kisses

Two years ago, they sat on a couch and he told his baby cousin stories as she rolled her little infant head around. He had no clue what to do with the little baby sitting next to him. Today, she runs around sharing her little giggles, holding his hand, showing him what a little girls world is like. His protective side was sad when she cried, he beamed when she called his name, he stood up for her when the others snatched things for her.

He'll be a good big brother. 

I can't wait. 

two peas in a pod

They're like Tweedledum and Tweedledee.

Attached at the hip. 

Best buddies. 

Some even think they're twins.

It's nice to see little friendships mean something to three year olds. 

when v came to see us

It was like yesterday we sat in my lounge in my little flat keeping warm in the crisp spring weather. Like yesterday we ate that vongole in a little restaurant in Soho. Like yesterday we danced around singing to "Part of Your World". Like yesterday we climbed the Eiffel Tower and ran along the Paris roundabouts. Like yesterday we salsa-ed in a Brazilian club in central London. Like yesterday she held the little man in her arms making sure he would always remember her. 

Three years ago, I walked away from V on my brick lined street and turned off into the park with tears running down my face as I left London with the angst and anxiety I never expected. 

Three years on, we sat in my new renovated house that I'm finally back in. Three years on, we ate vongole on a humid night in Manila restaurant. Three years on,  we sat in bed in our pajamas singing "Part of Your World". She boogied with her new favourite little boy as I watched them bond over Spiderman and Captain America. We drove up the mountains, ate lunch in a garden sanctuary and spent a day within a walled city of Old Manila. She made sure the little one would always remember her and kissed him goodbye knowing that he would.

So forgive me for being in hiding this May. 

Three years is a lot to catch up on. 

a malapascuan holiday

Last week:

1. My toes were buried in the sand.

2. I sat trying to write as the sun baked on my skin but eventually stopped as 

my thoughts were left clouded and disturbed.

3. I found it hard to switch off and it left me frustrated.

4. I watched the little one swim in the ocean for the first time, watched how his hair lightened in the 

mid morning sunshine and marveled at the sound of his laughter as he chased the waves. 

 5. I only finished one book.

6. I cheated on the diet that I was supposed to stay on but that garlic rice was so worth it.

7. I was made to choose between a friend and a husband on drunken night that went wrong. 

I didn't like how small it made me feel.

8. Not a fan of conflict, especially on holiday.

 Life is too bloody short for shit like that.

9. I saw Nemo and lots of starfish as we spent one afternoon snorkelling. But also greeted that

 fear of being in the middle of the ocean in a little moment of panic.

10. Old friends + happy hour. Moments to remember.

11. I watched my son play with the local children, who touched his golden hair and 

gazed at his white skin.

12. ... At the same time watched these kids as their smiles lit their beautiful faces 

when they spotted the camera. I still can't get over how genuine their smiles were.

13. I flirted with the husband as we reminisced about our honeymoon in Jamaica and shared a smile 

when we realised this was our tenth year together.

14. I promised myself that this getaway needed to happen more often. 

Another three years till the next one is too long.

15. ... And further realised that the husband and I need to go away as a couple more 

than we think we do.

16. I let my contentment overpower my distracted mind, after all, with this as my backdrop,

 what kind of fool did I play myself out to be?  so eventually, I let it all slip away.

I'm gonna rouge my knees and roll my stockings down and all that jazz

An unexpected evening in a little road just off the centre of the city.

Who knew that a place like this existed, with a cabaret fit for Vegas {okay, maybe not so grand} but nevertheless, one that made a very happy person last night. They constantly brought their audience into their world of glitz and glamour, from the roaring 20's to scenes from Miss Saigon. With men who moved their hips like the ladies they were dressed up to be, with legs that went on for ages and bodies that put me to shame. 

My trusty iPhone captured as much as it could, but I would have loved to have had the big camera with me to capture the fantastic glitter of the costumes, lighting and all else that mesmerised on this one Saturday night evening in little old Manila.