you are five today

Dear Cameron, 

You are five today. 

The big FIVE.

You woke up this morning by my side and as I started singing happy birthday, you looked confused and asked me why your voice was still the same as when you were four. You ran into my bed and asked Daddy why you hadn't grown overnight because you were the same size as you were when you were four. As if all of a sudden, after one sleep, you thought you would grow bigger because you turned five. Well, my boy, it is as if I closed my eyes after one long sleep and found you as this big five year old. As if you grew overnight, when I wasn't watching, like a time lapse capture highlighting critical moments in double speed. But I have been watching. You must know that I have been doing that. 

☆ I love that you are way beyond your years. I often wonder what goes through that clever mind of yours. I can see how fast your thoughts move, sometimes your words have a hard time catching up with your thoughts. 

☆ I love that you are caring and loving. You look after your sister and you always make sure she is safe. There are moments you argue with her, not realising how small she really is but you love with all your heart and it's amazing to see. I hope you always treat her with as much love. 

☆ I love that you correct me when I'm wrong. And boy, you love doing so. You also love being right. At five, you are confident in your doings. 

☆ I love that you read so well. You sometimes pretend to be too tired to read but it doesn't take much for your love for books to outweighs your exhaustion.

☆ I love that you have memorised words to the rock songs that Daddy is teaching you. There are not many five year olds I know who sing along to these songs word for word. It shows that you pay attention even if I think you are not. 

☆ I love that you talk so much. Yes, sometimes, I tell you to slow down. Sometimes I ask you to stop. But never stop, my boy, because your consistent chatter shows me that your intelligence is constantly developing. 

☆ I love that you are an observer. You watch people and you scope out the situation that you are surrounded in. You are aware and extremely cautious of your surroundings. 

☆ I still love the way you smell in the morning. I always wish for this smell to stay forever. I'm so happy that I still have this to hold onto.

☆ I love looking back at your baby pictures and remembering how you were. I love knowing that my memories of you grow all the time. Next year, I'll have another thousand pictures I can stare at. I will never tire of staring at you. 

☆ I love that you understand what secrets are. And I most especially love that you share yours with me. I hope you realise that you can always share your secrets with me. 

☆ I love how you run out of the front door and yell "Muuuummmmyyyyy" as I get home after a long day at work. My days are hard without you two but your happiness in welcoming me home always makes it better. I love how you are always excited to see us. 

☆ I love your craziness. Your silliness. Your grumpiness. Your happiness. 

☆ I love that I have this to write you every year. I love how some things are constant. But I also love how you are changing every year. Every day. Every minute. 

Another year. Another year of all this love I have for you.

Happy fifth, my big, big boy. 

you are four today

you are three today

you are two today

you are four today

Dear Cameron,

You, my boy, are four today.

FOUR!

I look at you and can't believe four years have passed since you graced our lives with your presence. If I knew time would move this fast, I would have prayed even harder to it to slow down. I can barely even carry you anymore and your long legs take over mine when you sit on my lap. You come up to just over my waist and your feet will soon take over mine. Who asked for time to move this fast? I surely didn't. But what I do know, and what I am grateful for, is that that time has brought me your growth. And watching you grow has brought me happiness, no matter how emotional it makes me at times. 

☆  I love that we have full conversations. In times, you surprise me with your wit and your personality.         You speak in full sentences and your words are more pronounced. Although, I still love that you say aminal instead of animal. It reminds me that at times you really still are my little boy. Sometimes I don't want to correct you so I can hear it over and over again.

☆  I love that you know exactly what you want. You stand your ground when you don't like something even if it makes us mad at times, it makes me proud to know that you will one day be able to stand up for yourself.

☆  I love your attention to detail. You see the tiniest details in your toys, in your food, in us, in yourself. How can a little four year old be this discerning and vigilant to the smallest things? Your mindfulness amazes me.

☆  I love how clever you are. I love that you are a leader in your nursery class, that your teacher gives you extra work to challenge your mind, and that you soak in everything so easily. My heart beams with pride all the time. 

☆ I love that you are excited to meet your baby sister. I love that you touch my tummy all the time, always waiting for her to move so you can feel her. You'll be the best big brother she can ever have wanted. You'll be kind and I know you'll love her as much as we love you.

☆ I love that you are sensitive. You are aware of your emotions and you are not afraid to share it with us. I love that you tell me when you are happy, or sad and even when you're angry. One day you will realise, that a real man is one who is never afraid to shed his own tears or share his emotions.

☆ I love that you are protective of those that you love. Your guard stands high and you already know that the ones you love are the ones you want to look out for.

☆ I love that you know about reasoning. And oh my, do you really know how it works. 

☆ I love your cheeky laugh. Your heartfelt giggles. Your contagious smiles. I love that no matter what it you always know how to make me smile. You really do have me wrapped around your fingers. You know you will always be mama's boy, even till you have children of your own. 

☆ I love your charm. How you work your magic on everyone around you. How you charm them in your gorgeous little four year old spell. This, my boy, is something you must hold onto.

☆ I love your imagination. Your creative playground. Sometimes I wonder how all these things are stored in your head, but it's you. How could I ever doubt your ability to create stories?

☆ I love that you love hugs. And kisses. And cuddles. I love that you constantly ask for them as much as I do. 

☆ I love that as much as I miss how you were when you were little, I marvel at how you are growing up. 

My most favourite little man in the world, my heart, my soul. To the many more years ahead where I find more things to love about you. My heart is so full, I always wonder how you manage to always squeeze a little bit more in there for me to love about you. 

Happy fourth to you my sweet boy.

you are three today
you are two today

you are three today

Dear Cameron,

You are three today.


Three.

I still remember the moment you decided it was finally time to come, albeit five days late.
I was in labour for two days and you kept us waiting. Elation and tears, pain and exhaustion,
happiness and love. Do you know you brought all these emotions to us? I remember staring
at you for hours, in disbelief that you were mine. Do you know I still sit and stare at you? It's
been three years and I still can't believe that you are mine forever.

☆ I love your affection, how you hug me just because you feel like it, how you kiss my eyes
     or my nose, or just touch my arm. It reminds me how much love you have for me.

☆ I love that you know exactly what you want, that you are independent and have a confidence
     in your stride. It shows me that we are teaching you to be yourself.

☆ I love how polite you are. Every thank you and please shows me that we are raising you with
    good manners.

☆ I love it when you lace your little fingers into mine to hold my hand.  I hope you hold my
     hand like this forever.

☆ I love how naughty you are, no matter how mad it makes me. It makes me smile to know
     that you have a strong personality.

☆ I love our conversations. Your incessant chatter and your endless stories.

☆ I love that you remember things that happened months ago, like it happened yesterday.
     Your memory continues to baffle me everyday.

☆ I love our bedtime routines. They have stayed constant since you were a baby and is our
     favourite time of day.

☆ I love that you love to sing and that you love to hear me sing. I've been singing to you
     since you were in my tummy.

☆ I love how your mind works. I love seeing your mind process as you say things a million
miles a minute. It shows me that you are always thinking.

☆ I love that you are growing to be a charming little man. I hope you always stay that way.

☆ I love that I can barely remember what life was like without you around. I love that I don't
     want to remember.

For you, my silly moo, on your third.

  

*for cameron, on his second.

you are two today*

.ice skates and sombreros.

Days nineteen and twenty.


Unexpected Tuesday afternoons.

Cancelled meetings.

Ice skating in the tropics.

Sangria and nachos.

Sombreros and ponchos.

Yes, spontaneity at its best in the heart of Manila.