.and the fingers found my paints.

Day twenty four.
Behind on the photography and this is why.

Life should be about spontaneity.
It should be about not having to think and ponder about things too much.
Thoughts turn into worries and then worries turn into doubts.
Empty canvases have been sitting in the spare room for months.
And for months I have tried to convince myself that they needed to be filled.
And for months I have doubted my ideas.
Then in one moment, I felt the urge. No questions were asked, my brush just headed straight to this little piece of canvas paper.
Nothing with hidden meanings, no secret depth of reasoning in the process. Just my pencil, paints and paper.

Simplicity. Black and white.

An emotional abstraction where perhaps it is only I who can feel the emotions within the strokes, but nevertheless, it is a piece of me. A piece of me I am unbelieveably sharing freely, another layer that I seem to be unravelling.

Now I believe that my tendency to overthink prevents my ability to create, 
and perhaps simplicity (and courage) is all I have ever needed.

.ice skates and sombreros.

Days nineteen and twenty.


Unexpected Tuesday afternoons.

Cancelled meetings.

Ice skating in the tropics.

Sangria and nachos.

Sombreros and ponchos.

Yes, spontaneity at its best in the heart of Manila.

.cousin love.

Sundays with this family are special and seeing these two together makes me smile.
I can't wait to see them grow up together.

.happiness and the husband.

Bob Marley - Waiting in Vain

Each beat takes me back to September 2007. Each word he sings makes me feel like I'm sitting on the shores of Negril watching the sun set and waves crash on the shore. We are walking every morning to our favourite breakfast place for some banana bread, bacon and blue mountain coffee. We are sitting by water watching the man with the umbrella hat sell his chicken, beef and callaloo patties. We are waiting for the lobster man to pass by late afternoon with his cooked lobsters. We are waiting to watch the sunset at the Sun Jerk Beach hut on the plastic swings with our feet buried in the sand. We are laughing at the shadow lurkers. We are walking the shores as if we would never see the ocean again .  What an amazing time we had. There were no worries, there was no stress and nothing got in our way.  My heart warms when I think of all the laughter and fun.

I close my eyes and feel the music ricocheting through my soul and I am there. We are there. And I am forever grateful for music that can take me back to that time where we lived like there was no tomorrow.

what music takes you back?

. nightcaps in the city.

day fourteen

.a letter to my son.

Day eleven, twelve and thirteen
the August Break.

To my dearest Cameron,

When did this happen? When did you become a little boy?

When did you grow up from the little baby that used to lay in my arms so still and dependent? When did you grow out of your little rompers and cute onesies? When did you lose your chubby little cheeks and when did you lose the folds on your tiny legs? When did your gummy smile become one with a full set of white teeth? When did you become so big that I can't carry you for too long anymore? And when did you not want to be carried anymore? When did you learn how to be so independent at only 22 months old? Your cleverness amazes me and your curiosity overcomes me with pride. Do you see me stare at you, as if to grasp onto time hoping that it would stand still for just one moment? Do you notice how I hug you tightly each night as I put you to bed knowing that the next day you will show me something new that you have learned? I watch you as you continue to learn, continue to grow and wonder when it happened. 

Was it when I blinked my eyes? Or perhaps it happened when I went out for my afternoon meeting? Or maybe it happened when you closed your eyes at the end of your long day and journeyed through your wonderful dreamland?

Oh, my little one. How I wish time would slow down.

14 weeks

5 months

22 months

22 months

May God bless and keep you always
May your wishes all come true
May you always do for others
And let others do for you
May you build a ladder to the stars
And climb on every rung
May you stay forever young
Forever young, forever young
May you stay forever young

                                              

                                              May you grow up to be righteous
                                   May you grow up to be true
                                   May you always know the truth
                                   And see the lights surrounding you
                                   May you always be courageous
                                   Stand upright and be strong
                                    May you stay forever young
                                    Forever young, forever young
                                    May you stay forever young

                                                                                         

                                                                                          May your hands always be busy
                                                                       May your feet always be swift
                                                                       May you have a strong foundation
                                                                       When the winds of changes shift
                                                                       May your heart always be joyful
                                                                       May your song always be sung
                                                                       May you stay forever young
                                                                       Forever young, forever young
                                                                       May you stay forever young

                                                                            

                                                                                                          Bob Dylan.

.looking through another lens.

day ten.

Sometimes there never seems to be enough hours in the day. Time goes quickly and then when I finally take a breather, I realise that my day has not been captured through my lens. Day ten into the August Break and I failed already. I forget how easy it is to let it slip. I spoke to a friend the other day about how easy it is to forget to paint or draw, write, or even photograph. You make excuses about why you haven't had the time and you come up with reasons why you cannot spare that one hour in a day to live in your creative world. It is only an hour, if that is really all you can spare. I possibly need to stop making these excuses and not let time slip away so easily.

But seeing that there are no rules in the August Break, I have decided not to be too hard on myself and rather end my day with a little creative inspiration. Lauren Treece's photos are a wonderful mix of subdued colours and pure emotion. Nostalgic and vintage. Moody and subdued. I love them and I could look at her photos over and over again.