a dab of colour, a stroke of a brush

I forget how good it feels to hold that brush. 

Even if its spent painting animals with poster paints and decorating parrots with sequins and feathers on my dining table with my four year old.

the magical inner light of the owl

The Native American tribes believed the owl to that of a protector against harm using their feathers to ward of the evil spirits. 

The ancient Athenians 'made the owl an emblem of wisdom' and is a symbol of Athene, the goddess of foresight and knowledge.

A nocturnal bird, a creature of the night, one that symbolises inner-knowing, intuition, and mystery.

Babygirl will have something watching over her in her little nursery when mummy and daddy aren't around, keeping her protected in its mystery, keeping her safe when she's in her little space.

Can't wait to do her nursery up. 

i'm ready.

1. I'm ready to play football again. I'm ready for an 8k run.

2. I'm ready for a spicy tuna salad, medium rare steak, peanut butter sandwiches, eggs benedict, foie gras and vodka tonics.

3. I'm ready to go out dancing with my friends in high heels and skinny jeans.

4. I'm ready for long evenings of good food, bottles of red wine, conversations and friends without feeling the need to fall asleep at the stroke of 10 pm. 

5. I'm ready for round two of nappies and breastmilk. 

6. I'm ready for those long nights. 

7. I'm ready to walk and not waddle.

8. I'm ready to wear my wedding ring again.

9. I'm ready to get pampered with a full body deep tissue massage, dye my hair and get highlights.

10. I'm ready to be me again. 

11. But most of all, I'm ready to meet my little girl. Ready to be a mother of two. Ready to become a   family of four.

 I'm so ready. 

the waiting game

pretty little one, mama is waiting. 

we all are. 

you are four today

Dear Cameron,

You, my boy, are four today.

FOUR!

I look at you and can't believe four years have passed since you graced our lives with your presence. If I knew time would move this fast, I would have prayed even harder to it to slow down. I can barely even carry you anymore and your long legs take over mine when you sit on my lap. You come up to just over my waist and your feet will soon take over mine. Who asked for time to move this fast? I surely didn't. But what I do know, and what I am grateful for, is that that time has brought me your growth. And watching you grow has brought me happiness, no matter how emotional it makes me at times. 

☆  I love that we have full conversations. In times, you surprise me with your wit and your personality.         You speak in full sentences and your words are more pronounced. Although, I still love that you say aminal instead of animal. It reminds me that at times you really still are my little boy. Sometimes I don't want to correct you so I can hear it over and over again.

☆  I love that you know exactly what you want. You stand your ground when you don't like something even if it makes us mad at times, it makes me proud to know that you will one day be able to stand up for yourself.

☆  I love your attention to detail. You see the tiniest details in your toys, in your food, in us, in yourself. How can a little four year old be this discerning and vigilant to the smallest things? Your mindfulness amazes me.

☆  I love how clever you are. I love that you are a leader in your nursery class, that your teacher gives you extra work to challenge your mind, and that you soak in everything so easily. My heart beams with pride all the time. 

☆ I love that you are excited to meet your baby sister. I love that you touch my tummy all the time, always waiting for her to move so you can feel her. You'll be the best big brother she can ever have wanted. You'll be kind and I know you'll love her as much as we love you.

☆ I love that you are sensitive. You are aware of your emotions and you are not afraid to share it with us. I love that you tell me when you are happy, or sad and even when you're angry. One day you will realise, that a real man is one who is never afraid to shed his own tears or share his emotions.

☆ I love that you are protective of those that you love. Your guard stands high and you already know that the ones you love are the ones you want to look out for.

☆ I love that you know about reasoning. And oh my, do you really know how it works. 

☆ I love your cheeky laugh. Your heartfelt giggles. Your contagious smiles. I love that no matter what it you always know how to make me smile. You really do have me wrapped around your fingers. You know you will always be mama's boy, even till you have children of your own. 

☆ I love your charm. How you work your magic on everyone around you. How you charm them in your gorgeous little four year old spell. This, my boy, is something you must hold onto.

☆ I love your imagination. Your creative playground. Sometimes I wonder how all these things are stored in your head, but it's you. How could I ever doubt your ability to create stories?

☆ I love that you love hugs. And kisses. And cuddles. I love that you constantly ask for them as much as I do. 

☆ I love that as much as I miss how you were when you were little, I marvel at how you are growing up. 

My most favourite little man in the world, my heart, my soul. To the many more years ahead where I find more things to love about you. My heart is so full, I always wonder how you manage to always squeeze a little bit more in there for me to love about you. 

Happy fourth to you my sweet boy.

you are three today
you are two today

who am i kidding

This year has come and gone I tell you. And I've done nothing to benefit my little online home. 

My pregnancy brain has taken over more than I had realised and has caused me to neglect my space. 

But I won't kid myself into believing I'm going to make up for it in the last two months of the year. 

There were so many things I had lined up for this year, I just have to let them go and perhaps hope that my two thousand and thirteen will be a better blogging year. 

So apologies to my small number of readers. It will get better on here if you still decide to stick around. 

I promise.