november dreaming.

the dreamer in me wishes to be by the ocean, submerged in waters so deep, listening to the silence of the life beneath the surface of the blue waters. the dreamer wishes to feel the gusts of wind blowing through her dress. she wishes to lay on soft grass, where time stands still for a length of time, with shadows playing behind her lids,  as the sunbeams radiate on her skin while the world around her moves by so quickly.

the dreamer in me wishes to walk through a park full of trees, with pathways that seems endless. she wishes to run through a valley of flowers with stems so long, they tower over her. she pictures riding a bike through a park full of autumn leaves, feeling the winds blow on her face as the wheels circle around and around. she dreams of riding on ocean waves, to feel only the wind powering through her hair as the sun's strong rays burn her skin. 

she wishes to dream some more, over and over again until they become real.

Amel Larrieux - Morning

 Photos by laura olivia baker

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dear blog

I am sorry that I have been neglecting your space.

I am sorry because life has been speeding past me and i have not been able to document it.

I am sorry because my computer fried and I have lost some important files and have not had my digital world at hand.

I really am sorry but please know that I am not gone for good and that you have not just been there for momentary online therapy.

I am sorry but my reality has really needed a little bit of attention.

But my reality is almost set up and somehow within all the running around I have managed to catch my breath this morning and enjoy my new space, my new sun spots, my new home.....

Oh my, I think reality is also telling me that I am in dire need of a pedicure.
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mood swings and roundabouts

I'm at a little roundabout in my life but I've decided to embrace it with all gracefulness, grasp it with all my pride and move forward.  I read these kind words that someone wrote for me and she told me to stand still for one moment, close my eyes, feel the wind and sunlight on my face. To know that in my heart,  this roundabout I have revisited is what I will learn from and carry forward, no matter how frustrating or challenging it is. My heart swelled with content when simple words empowered me and the kind thoughts overcame me. It really is that simple. It really is how it should be.

I just wish that when it rained, it didn't have to pour.

T H E   R O U N D A B O U T   

Life is a wheel of changes
But changes are life
And someday we will have to say good bye
But our spirit will survive
Love is phasing
Love is moving
To the rhythm of your sight
In the darkness I get closer
To the crossing point of light
Reason is lasting, passion is living
And dying is teaching us how to live

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for one moment I sit and believe

a kiss to build a dream on - Louis Armstrong

Sometimes I sit back and listen to some music, close my eyes and just feel it through my bones, through my soul and embrace every beat, every tune. I let the voices take me away into their world, let the instruments carry me through to another world. And at times, I too, let my voice sweep me away into the melodies of the song. And in this world, everything is okay and life is just the way things are supposed to be.

Sometimes I use music as my escape, to drown out my worries, to mask my concerns, to temporarily erase doubt. It helps you know, at least for the moment it does. And in this one moment of my musical takeover, I can breathe. I can sit here and believe that life is just the way it is supposed to be and that life knows what it has planned for me. I must believe that this truly is the way things are supposed to be.

And sometimes when the music stops, I panic for a little bit. My realities have swooped back down on me. Where is the music to make me momentarily slip away from consciousness? But then I know that I can do this without my music, I don't need it to mask away my fears, for it is my fears that make me stronger.

Then I realise that I can do this. I can get through whatever life challenges me with having to escape.
I don't need to hide. But really.... it is nice sometimes. It really is.

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