7.1.13

my two thousand twelve

... I watched my younger brother buckle at his knees as he watched his bride to be walk down that aisle.
... And a week later I watched an old friend marry her best friend and at the same time ran around for our catering company's first destination wedding.
... I marvelled on the inside as people stood in front of my art up on those walls. 
... That project up on the mountains was completed and I walked away proud of what was achieved.
... I visited an old childhood playground and watched my little boy's eyes as he stood wondrously watching the life moving around him.
... I had that one night with the girls. That one night you look back onto and fall into fits of laughter from just remembering. 
... wWe fell into an inconvenience that found us moving out of our home for a few months. it was a true test of patience and understanding.
... and looking back, it turned out to be the worst month of two thousand and twelve.
... I picked bright pink flowers in a quiet hidden corner of my village.
... I went to my first burlesque show in the most unexpected place with some of my favourite people.
... I worked on my first shop window for my design company.
...We started april on an island, in a beach hut, with a thatched roof, by the sea. I couldn't have asked for anything more. 
... My husband and I got silly drunk, like teenagers, for the last time together this year. You know,  the fall-on-the- sand kind of drunk. 
... I spent a day teaching underprivileged kids how to play football.
... And didn't realise that it would the last time on the pitch for nine months as my little bean began to grow.
... I spent the first few days on an island with two girlfriends. Mystical and quiet. Waterfalls and white sand. The perfect start to my pregnancy.
... Five days into the month, one of my best friends came to visit me. And ten days went way too quickly.
... We moved back into our house. 
... I dreamt of travelling. I dreamt of London. I dreamt of New York. I dreamt of LA. I dreamt of getting out of Manila. 
... I dwelled on what wasn't happening in my life over what was.
... I welcomed by goddaughter and my cousin home for two months. 
... I spent a rainy weekend up on the mountain with a friend, eating cheese and truffle oil in a secret garden surrounded by lilypads and frogs.
... My husband premiered his second season of his cooking show.
... And with that came photo-shoots with the family.
... My little boy started big school.  And wore my school colours. 
... We found out that pink, pigtails and dresses were in our future. 
... I joined in on my third August Break.
... But lost my way after I lost my engagement ring. 
... It began with me saying goodbyes, again.
... I accepted the way things were.
... And allowed this month to be one where my feet were put up on the couch as my belly grew bigger each day.
... My baby became a little boy as he turned four.
... And on one ordinary afternoon after school, we painted animals together.
... I began planning the nursery. 
... We had a wonderful Sunday, just the three of us....
... And realised that my family, at this point, is what mattered the most. 
   
... I sat by the pool with the sunshine scorching on my skin, embracing each of these moments with grace.
... I celebrated at my baby shower and was reminded about unconditional love.
...Which I tend to forget when life turns the other way.
... I danced with friends at an afternoon event that played some of my favourite beats.
... I waddled.
... I ached.
... I cried.
... I laughed.
... I was nine months pregnant.
... I became a mother of two.
... And I could not explain how my heart felt like it would explode.
... I held my sleeping son's head on my shoulder as I nursed my daughter. 
... And I never knew what contentment felt like until I looked at both my children lying next to each other. 
... I've also realised that with two children comes patience. The fact that it has taken me a week to write this makes me realise that I can't just sit and do what I want to do when I want to do it.
... I accepted that two thousand and twelve wasn't exactly what I had planned out, nowhere near it  but I have opened my eyes to the fact that things change in the last minute. 
... I am allowing my two thousand and thirteen to be open, to be unconstrained, to be mine in whatever way it comes. 
So two thousand and thirteen, I'm ready for you.

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8.12.12

the calm before the most beautiful storm


My dear babygirl,

Nine whole days I have to wait for you.
It seems like a lifetime, when in fact, it's nothing compared to the time that I've been waiting for you since the day I found out you were in my tummy.

Nine whole days till I can hold you in my arms, smell your sweet baby smell, touch your wrinkly, unfilled skin.
I've been in your room everyday slowly getting your little space ready. Your bed is waiting to be filled.

Nine whole days till you make our little family into one of four.
Your big brother is eagerly awaiting your arrival, he is quite keen on helping to look after you. You don't know yet how much he loves you already.

Nine long days.
And then you're here.




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7.12.12

Carne Griffths

It's been awhile since I've posted any sort of inspiration on this blog, to be honest, my pregnant brain hasn't really been feeding off anything. And to be even more honest, everything has gone on standstill. My writing, my own art, my inspirations and everything else I could possibly think of. I'd like to believe babygirl is feeding it all as she lays in my belly, sucking up all possible remnants of my artistic soul. 

Perhaps she'll be an artist like me. Perhaps not. All I know is, I can't wait to meet her.

For now though, a little inspiration from Carne Griffiths has left a perfectly sweet taste in my mouth with his amazing pieces created with ink, tea, vodka, brandy ..... a wonderfully mystical collection of work, with his liquid streaks dripping down his paper to create an effect that works perfectly with his whole vision. His abstraction leaves one to only join him on his journey through his creative kingdom and envision his power of creating a path for others to enter through his world. 
 
I'm glad I found him, his art brings me joy in a time that I needed it most. 

More on his website, blog and Behance. You can also follow him on twitter @carnegriffiths 
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20.11.12

Birdcages, owls and poopie nappies.

When you are eight months pregnant, it's easy to feel left out. It's easy to feel like the world is speeding past you while you waddle through your days. It's easy to feel like so much is happening around you and you lose your breath trying to catch up. For your girlfriends will still have their dinners over cocktails and red wine. Your girlfriends will still go out dancing and your girlfriends will still sleep in the next day rocking those ultimate hangovers.

Life around you goes on and you miss out on certain things. 
But at eight months pregnant, a walk down the hall leaves you breathless. 
Lying down on the couch with your swollen feet up sounds more appealing than dancing in your five inch heels.
Drinking a cup of ginger tea warms you up more than that glass of Pinotage. 
Wearing comfy pajamas at nine in the evening is more comfortable than those skinny ass jeans.

And then special days happen that celebrate the main reason why you are in fact missing out. 
And then you realise, that you are not missing out on much. 
On special days like this one, your friends remind you that you are missed as much as you miss them. 
And that they are not going anywhere. 
            

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