my two thousand twelve

... I watched my younger brother buckle at his knees as he watched his bride to be walk down that aisle.
... And a week later I watched an old friend marry her best friend and at the same time ran around for our catering company's first destination wedding.
... I marvelled on the inside as people stood in front of my art up on those walls
... That project up on the mountains was completed and I walked away proud of what was achieved.
... I visited an old childhood playground and watched my little boy's eyes as he stood wondrously watching the life moving around him.
... I had that one night with the girls. That one night you look back onto and fall into fits of laughter from just remembering. 
... wWe fell into an inconvenience that found us moving out of our home for a few months. it was a true test of patience and understanding.
... and looking back, it turned out to be the worst month of two thousand and twelve.
... I picked bright pink flowers in a quiet hidden corner of my village.
... I went to my first burlesque show in the most unexpected place with some of my favourite people.
... I worked on my first shop window for my design company.
...We started april on an island, in a beach hut, with a thatched roof, by the sea. I couldn't have asked for anything more. 
... My husband and I got silly drunk, like teenagers, for the last time together this year. You know,  the fall-on-the- sand kind of drunk. 
... I spent a day teaching underprivileged kids how to play football.
... And didn't realise that it would the last time on the pitch for nine months as my little bean began to grow.
... I spent the first few days on an island with two girlfriends. Mystical and quiet. Waterfalls and white sand. The perfect start to my pregnancy.
... Five days into the month, one of my best friends came to visit me. And ten days went way too quickly.
... We moved back into our house. 
... I dreamt of travelling. I dreamt of London. I dreamt of New York. I dreamt of LA. I dreamt of getting out of Manila. 
... I dwelled on what wasn't happening in my life over what was.
... I welcomed by goddaughter and my cousin home for two months. 
... I spent a rainy weekend up on the mountain with a friend, eating cheese and truffle oil in a secret garden surrounded by lilypads and frogs.
... My husband premiered his second season of his cooking show.
... And with that came photo-shoots with the family.
... My little boy started big school.  And wore my school colours. 
... We found out that pink, pigtails and dresses were in our future. 
... I joined in on my third August Break.
... But lost my way after I lost my engagement ring. 
... It began with me saying goodbyes, again.
... I accepted the way things were.
... And allowed this month to be one where my feet were put up on the couch as my belly grew bigger each day.
... My baby became a little boy as he turned four.
... And on one ordinary afternoon after school, we painted animals together.
... I began planning the nursery
... We had a wonderful Sunday, just the three of us....
... And realised that my family, at this point, is what mattered the most. 
... I sat by the pool with the sunshine scorching on my skin, embracing each of these moments with grace.
... I celebrated at my baby shower and was reminded about unconditional love.
...Which I tend to forget when life turns the other way.
... I danced with friends at an afternoon event that played some of my favourite beats.
... I waddled.
... I ached.
... I cried.
... I laughed.
... I was nine months pregnant.
... I became a mother of two.
... And I could not explain how my heart felt like it would explode.
... I held my sleeping son's head on my shoulder as I nursed my daughter. 
... And I never knew what contentment felt like until I looked at both my children lying next to each other. 
... I've also realised that with two children comes patience. The fact that it has taken me a week to write this makes me realise that I can't just sit and do what I want to do when I want to do it.
... I accepted that two thousand and twelve wasn't exactly what I had planned out, nowhere near it  but I have opened my eyes to the fact that things change in the last minute. 
... I am allowing my two thousand and thirteen to be open, to be unconstrained, to be mine in whatever way it comes. 
So two thousand and thirteen, I'm ready for you.

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Mariella said...

Congratulations for the birth of your daughter Rae! It looks like you had an amazing year to me! And the pictures in the last post of you pregnant are stunning, all the best for this 2013. mariella

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